July 16, 2008

Teenage Dating Violence: The Warning Signs

By: Shannon (guest writer)

Teenage dating violence and abuse is more common than most people would care to admit, with most presentations of teenage relationships being somewhat idealized and/or sanitized. If you are the parent of a teenager, or a teenager yourself, you should be aware of some warning signs of an abusive relationship. You can keep yourself, or your children, safe by being attentive to warning signs that may precede more explicit and violent abuse.

The first main warnings are aggressiveness and possessiveness. Forwardness and determination can initially be attractive traits, but can easily become an overbearing (or even bullying) attitude. Forced physical closeness, even the absence of other outwardly sexual behavior, is a major red flag that the person is potentially willing to force themselves on others.

This overbearing aggressiveness can quickly progress to unwanted sexual advances and more. It is often partnered with an extreme possessiveness: For example, a boyfriend who violently challenges anyone who they even vaguely perceive as “checking out [his] girl”.

Very often, those with these paired traits will progress into increasingly violent abuse. It may start with the grabbing of the arm, or the close and intimidating violation of personal space during an argument. This type of behavior is a severe warning sign of probable teenage dating violence, as statistically such a person is very likely to continue this pattern into more severe behavior, such as rape and outright beatings.

Other common warning signs are an unusually short temper and unsolicited defensive statements about never hurting a partner. These are indications that a young person may be prone to “fly off the handle” and commit violence.

A demeaning attitude is another important behavior to notice. No one should belittle or put down the person they love, especially on a regular basis. It is a form of emotional abuse and often coincides with teenage dating violence. A strong need for control, such as demanding to know every detail of a daily routine, is a disturbing marker. Those people with a need for such overwhelming control will often resort to violence, and any other means necessary, to maintain their sense of command and control.

If you are a parent and notice some of these warning signs, you should tactfully and carefully raise the issue with your child. No teenager likes to feel as though their parents are interfering in their lives and aggressively pushing the issue will likely only push your child to defiantly pursue the relationship. It may be helpful if you can speak with one of your teenager’s friends and express your concerns to him or her. A teen is more likely to respond positively to peers than to parents in such a situation.

If you are a teen and notice some red flags indicating the potential for teenage dating violence, talk to someone immediately. Your friends, parents and even your school counselor are all there to support you and help you get out of a dangerous relationship. If your partner threatens you, your family or your friends in any way, it is important to contact the authorities to protect yourself and your loved one from harm.

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June 30, 2008

6 flirting tips to make him notice you

Ready for your next adventure in single life? You’ve picked out a fab frock, sprung for a new hairstyle and invested in a bag of breath mints. Why not take a few minutes to consider your flirting technique before you head out? Here are six ideas you won’t want to miss:

Countinue at: 6 Flirting Tips To Get You Notice

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June 16, 2008

Best Dating Tips for Guys

By Shannon (Guest writer)

Listen up Guys. Have you ever felt bewildered by what women want in a date and you’re in need of the best dating tips for men? Do not worry! You are not alone. Most women have a very difficult time understanding us (and we usually have a difficult time understanding you). To help you out, here is a short set of my absolutely best dating tips for guys.

First things first gentlemen … we want you to act like gentlemen. That is, we want you to treat us like ladies. Be polite and respect our boundaries. Try opening doors for us. Tell us we look wonderful tonight! Few things can warm up a girl’s heart like a considerate gentleman. Do not overdo it though, which leads into the next point: Do not try too hard. If you are tripping over yourself to impress us, believe me, we notice and it is not an attractive thing. It comes across as desperate and a bit icky. Be confidant, generous and kind, but do not lay it on too thick.

On the next point, once you are dating us, we do appreciate sentiments like flowers, being told how wonderful we are and all those other great signs of interest. However, by that point, we already know you are interested in us and pushing it too much becomes trying too hard. Instead of making superficial indications of how much you care, actually show it to us. Do your best to remember our birthdays. Take an interest in our lives and pastimes. Come meet our families. Show us through your actions what we mean to you, not through throwaway compliments and store-bought things. I cannot emphasize how high this ranks among the best dating tips for guys.

Communication is vital to us. If you do not understand what we mean or you are not really paying attention, do not lie to us and pretend otherwise. I am sure most of you guys out there have had a lady yell at you that she specifically told you something that you did not remember. She did tell you, but you were not listening or did not understand what she meant. Avoid digging yourself into this whole and communicate with us!

Women have an overblown reputation for being emotional, but we do tend to think we are more emotional than men. However, be careful not to offend us by disregarding our emotions. If we cry watching a sad movie or get gushy after a romance flick, do not trivialize our reaction by insisting “it’s just a stupid movie” or asking us why we are reacting that way. We are reacting to what we watched, empathizing with the movie. The emotional response is real and few things can be more offense than a reaction that comes across as “what’s wrong with you woman?” To us it is being human to express ourselves. We would not mind if you expressed yourself a bit along with us, but we are not foolish enough to expect it.

Keep in mind these best dating tips for guys and you will find yourself receiving much better reactions from women, even if you still do not understand us.

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June 2, 2008

Single Parent Dating – Your Options for Dating With Children

“Before I had children I had several theories about raising children. Now I have several children and no theories.” I forgot who said that, but I’m sure you parents, including the single parent can relate.

Dating for the single parent can be daunting. You have a child or children to consider, plus a job, homework, custody issues and other things in the mix, all of which are important to you.

But you certainly do not have to become a hermit. Even so, there are some very important things you must do regarding your dating life.

Foremost is safety. You see, you have not just your own safety to consider, but that of your child/children) as well. It behooves you to be extra careful about the sort of person you date. This is true for both single mothers and fathers. The rules of dating for single parent dating are pretty much the same for both sexes.

While you may not be looking for marriage, it is still vital that you choose a dating partner whom you feel is safe to be around your children. Usually outings will include your children at some point so things are going to either be fun or stressful.

This is why it is so important that any potential date know from the beginning that you have children and are a single parent.

The ideal situation for single parent dating would be to know someone personally before deciding to spend time together. If there is someone in your life already and there is some interest, it might be an excellent way to go. But, alas, this is not always the case.

For the single parent, dating someone who has children of their own, or who is particularly interested in finding a partner who has children may be the best option.

One way to add to your dating prospects is to use the internet. Surprisingly, there are many sites that cater to dating for single parents. These sites offer the opportunity to get to know someone in an anonymous and safe setting.

In most cases, other people at these sites are also parents and will understand your situation better than someone who does not have children. They will, most likely, have a lot of the same concerns as you.

However caution must still be exercised. Some of the considerations of having children and dating are really no brainers. Use your common sense, do your homework, and you will enjoy the dating scene once more.

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Find top rated single parent dating sites now.

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May 27, 2008

Romantic Evening Ideas – Making a First Date to Remember

Good romantic evening ideas make a lasting and lifelong impression on a first date. Dinner and a movie, while tried and true, is just not the kind of “zing” that leaves a lasting impression. On the same note, a bouquet of flowers and complimenting looks are much of the same old humdrum. If you want to have a date to remember, you need to be bold and spice it up!

Art galleries can be a wonderful choice for first dates. Art tends to spur both thought and emotion, leading to some great conversations and deeply romantic moments. Leaning against each other in silence in front of a moving piece of art can easily become a tender and long-lasting memory. An animated discussion about what a particular painting means can become more than a simple chat and get into “deep” issues, where both of you share part of yourselves.

A picnic in the park may seem old-fashioned, but that is part of what makes it a wonderful choice among romantic evening ideas.

This common impression of picnic dates evokes a sense of nostalgia and brings to mind the magical “true love” first dates of movies. While it is a safe public place, this kind of date is very endearing and has a sort of easy intimacy. A good bottle of wine can add to the sense of romance, but be mindful of your local alcohol laws.

Sightseeing can be another great choice. A lot of people neglect many of the local sights that visitors will go to see. It can be very exciting to learn new things about the place that you live in and realize how much is around to see and do in your area.

This sense of wonderment and interest creates a great atmosphere for building bonds with a new person and creating a delightful memory. Prepare a list of more sights than you actually plan to see. When on the date, just randomly pick the next place to go after finishing with another to help create a sense of spontaneity and fun, building on the feeling of excitement. Avoid visiting too many places with large crowds or a lot of noise, as they make it difficult to talk or cultivate a sense of intimacy.

There are a lot of fantastic romantic evening ideas for first dates, but you should be sure to pick one that suits you. If you are not going to have a good time, do not pick one simply because you believe your date would like it.

If you are not enjoying yourself, your date will pick up on that negative vibe and it will ruin your well-meaning date idea. It is important that you both enjoy yourselves, so that you can relax, enjoy each other’s company, and develop an intimate bond.

With a good date idea and a little luck, your first date will turn out to be fantastic and quite memorable.

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May 25, 2008

How Does Speed Dating Work?



Speed dating is a popular matchmaking trend to find your compatible match. It’s an event for men and women to meet in large numbers for the purpose of finding a match in the shortest possible time.

So Who Participates in Speed Dating?

Busy professionals and individuals who lead busy lives invest in speed dating. Usually they don’t have time for traditional dating. They are normal people who are looking to meet prospects quickly without wasting time.

How does Speed Dating Work?

Each speed dating event is hosted and pre-planned by a match-making organizer. Each attendee is pre-screened for safety reasons. During the actual event, couples meet and interact with each other face to face on a one-on-one basis for a brief period of time, usually less than ten minutes.

Once your brief 10 minute date is over, you move on to the next possible prospect. It’s much like musical chairs. This offers participants a wide choice, therefore increasing chances of finding a suitable match.

Also, the set time limit can ensure everyone will get equal opportunity, while avoiding getting fixed with a person with whom they have no compatibility with.

At the end of the event participants provide a list of dating prospects they would like to meet again. The matching process begins after the hosted event to make sure no one will face any rejection. The organizers then will look for matches and notify the parties there’s a match.

In a speed dating event, you never exchange your contact information. This is to avoid any rejection until you’re sure of compatibility. The event is monitored by the host, which provides a safety net for you and you can walk away at any time. The atmosphere is light, fun and can be enjoyable to meet different people.

The process and rules will vary with each organizer, but the basics of speed dating will remain the same.

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Now speed dating starts online. Check out profiles first, then meet at a speed dating event. More details at Speed Dating Services

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May 23, 2008

What are Virtual Online Dating Games?

The answer to the question of what are virtual online dating games is not as simple as it may seem at first. It would make the most sense that online dating games are just like “real world” dating games.

People meet, flirt a bit, get to know each other and see if they connect enough to take things further. That is what most people think that dating games are. Read on. You are about to have your eyes opened a bit.

The computer age has changed everything, including the way we meet and date people. If you are curious about what virtual online dating games are, just do a little research on the internet and you will find many versions of this.

The rules are basically the same though. You create a cartoon version of yourself and interact with other cartoon versions of people in an online community. It is possible to change your appearance, your clothes, and even your sex. You can be anything or anyone you want. All of the virtual characters are treated as “real,” while chatting, flirting and just hanging out with each other.

It is also possible to take your connection from the world of virtual reality to the outside world. Now doesn’t this sound like a fun way to spend a dateless Saturday night?

Another part of these virtual online dating games is the web cam. In case you live in the really dark ages and don’t understand what this is, it is simply a small video camera that sits on your computer, or near it, projecting your image to someone else who may be chatting with you. For example, as your virtual character runs around the community, and you have your web cam turned on, others can see what your real appearance is, and you can see them as well.

The most popular of the virtual online dating games is The Sims Online. This wonderful virtual world is more real to some people than their true lives. In The Sims Online, there are many different places to visit and meet other virtual characters.

This adult community allows characters to form relationships, get engaged, and even marry in the game. While it has been online and growing for over 6 years, this site will be closing down in August of 2008. Many people will miss this way of interacting as there were real friendships and relationships formed from this fascinating and addicting virtual world.

While the question of what are virtual online dating games may not have a clear cut answer, it is safe to say that many people enjoy this form of “dating.” However, games should never take the place of true interaction between people in real life. Virtual games are fun to play and possibly use to practice your dating skills, but they will never take the place of relating in person to another warm human being.

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May 21, 2008

Pros and Cons of Online Dating

Many newcomers to online dating don’t consider the pros and cons before undertaking this new service. Do you know the best approach to making sure this dating service is right for you? How do you guarantee your own safety? And is this the right choice for me?

These are just a few questions newcomers to online dating face all the time. With some well thought out questions, everyone can come to the right conclusion of what’s best for them. Here are a few brief tips:

One of the most important strategies is to develop an outline of pros and cons. This will lead you to your answer. Consider the specific needs that should be met by the dating service, and find websites that cater to those needs.

The Pros of Online Dating:

1. Dating sites allow members to meet more people than they would without such sites.

2. It’s a more convenient way of meeting people without leaving own home.

3. You can browse members’ profiles and understand their interests before deciding to communicate with them.

4. You can find people with the same interest, and know whether they are looking for friendship, casual dating, or a serious relationship right away.

5. Communicate anonymously and you don’t have to give out too much personal information to begin.

6. You’re able to get know people’s personalities by chatting online first

7. Geographical boundaries can be crossed, and members can meet people in distant locations and exotic areas.

8. Online dating services allow users to socialize with other singles in a convenient, inexpensive way.

9. Members can determine if there’s chemistry before pursuing the relationship in real life.

The Cons of Online Dating

1. Misrepresentations in age, gender, physical attributes, or socio-economic status.

2. Intentions could be deceiving.

3. Profile pictures can be a hoax.

4.Breeding ground for Stalkers and sexual predators – this happens more often in free sites.

5. Some may join the site solely to view content and are not really potential matches – another common problem with free dating sites.

Most importantly, how you decide to proceed with online dating is completely dependent upon your personal comfort level. Proceed at your own pace; be comfortable with what you’re doing; if hesitant, perhaps it’s not the right choice; and remember to have fun.

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May 17, 2008

How to Write an Enticing Online Dating Profile

Your online dating profile will become your most effective way of finding that perfect date. If you are trying to find Mr. or Mrs. Right, via the internet, the most important thing you can do is write an enticing and exciting dating profile.

It is vital that you get this just right in order to attract the sort of person you truly want. This is both a simple and difficult process.

You may be an expressive writer, but when it comes to talking about yourself in an interesting way, you draw a blank. So just how do you write an online dating profile?

The following are some guidelines to get you started on the right path:

• Begin by telling the prospective reader about yourself. Treat this as if you are having a conversation with someone you have just met. What are the important or interesting things about yourself that this person would like to know? Put forth the best parts of your personality. Make your words sparkle and leap off the page. Show your sincerity and honesty along with your fun loving side.

• Write down what you are looking for in a potential partner. Be honest. If looks are important to you, say so. Make it very clear if you have specifications which must be present in someone before you will be interested. It’s ok to be looking for someone with a Bachelor’s Degree, just don’t neglect to say that. You might find yourself with more options if you are a bit more open as to the kind of person you will consider dating. But there is also no need to lower your expectations.

• Describe what an ideal date for you would be like. If you prefer a romantic candlelit dinner, and some quiet time just to talk, say so. Maybe you are a party person who loves just grabbing a quick bite before heading to a club for a night of loud music and dancing. Draw the reader into your world with you.

• Share things you have learned from past relationships. These don’t have to be deep dark secrets. That can come later once you are actually in a promising relationship. For now, just some of the basics will do. This isn’t exactly the time to trash your ex. Instead give the impression of being ready to move forward.

• Last, but certainly not least, talk about what you are looking for in a relationship. This is another time for complete and total honesty. Don’t hold back just because you are afraid of being seen as too serious or too playful. There is someone in the world who will feel just the way you do.

Now you have some ideas to give you a start in the right way to present yourself on paper. As you can see, it doesn’t have to be so difficult. Make it fun for both yourself and any prospects who may read it.

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May 16, 2008

The Dating Evolution - Part II

Dating Part I explained how everyone has his/her own views of dating and the mad rush to find Mr. & Mrs. Right. Part II looks at the various concepts of dating.

There are various types of dating and no right or wrong way, just personal preference. We choose whatever works best for our lifestyles.

Standard Date – Date among a guy and a girl who know each other.

Blind Date – A date where you’re not sure if there is any interest because you haven’t met the other person yet. Usually set up by a match-making friend or family member.

Long Distance Date – You met someone and they live a ways away so you decide to have a long distance relationship via internet or letters. Usually do not work in the end.

Online Dating – These dating systems uses websites to meet people. You register and choose from multiple profiles.

Speed Dating – Groups of people gather at a public place and spend a certain amount of time getting to know each other. At intervals, each person switches seats with another person. Dating musical chairs until to you meet each available suitor in the room.

Virtual dating – You meet available suitors via Virtual Reality websites. Create a profile, an avatar and spend time in this dating virtual world attempting to spark an interest and develop a virtual relationship.

Singles Events – Attend an event with groups of single people with hopes of meeting Mr. or Ms. Right. These are casual parties with no time limits, no guidelines, just meet and greets.

To be successful and find the right person for you must realize there are no perfect people. Define what qualities are most important to you and come to the realization that you might not find all those exact qualities but you may come close. Don’t rush. Certain dating concepts might not be right for you. Sticking with your beliefs on how and why to date will help you find your Mr. or Mrs. Right.

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